Time To Explore A New Approach

Forgive people when they offend you, forgive more especially if the offender is remorseful. It does not matter what the person did, just forgive this person, so you will be free. Guess many of us are used to this type of advice, many people have been through situations in life, where they have been forced to listen to this and then chided for not being ´´forgiving´´. This statement about forgiveness being necessary and advice to victims to forgive their offenders should be balanced, so you don`t come across as being unsympathetic to the victim, or being seen as supporting the tormentor!

Most statements that have caused untold hurt on people sometimes were said in the heat of the anger, atimes the person that said the hurtful words may not even know the extent of the hurt he caused the other person. If you happen to know both parties and have been tasked with mending that relationship, see to it that you don’t use popular cliches on forgiveness and all those mantras. Dig deep to understand what the issues are­.

First of all, find out whether both sides are desirous of patching their relationship, which side is most likely going to loose out if peace is not brokered (this factor is not always the case, but have this in mind incase you are faced with this scenario).

Are there other people the parties respect and would likely listen to?

Find out all these before attempting to broker peace. Brokering peace and repairing relationships is a sensitive issue. If you are mediating in a dispute, asking the right question, understanding the context and innuendoes in each party’s speech may help you achieve a better result. Do not make statements that may aggravate one side which may likely put an end or further clog in the wheel of the peace you are trying to build.

I agree with the popular saying that to err is human and to forgive is divine, but I also know that human beings are emotional beings and some hurts are much deeper than others. Be that as it may, wherever side of the dispute you find yourself, whether as the victim, the offender or the mediator, understand that communication, being open minded and being understanding is the key to getting the result you desire

Have a good week!

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